Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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