you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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