I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
