Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
