I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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