You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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