Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
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