I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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