We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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