There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I want a musical about memes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
