Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
