hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
