Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Randomize
