How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
