At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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