Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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