I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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