I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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