Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
