dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
