She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Randomize
