You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
