burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
