we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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