I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
