I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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