Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
