I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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