It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
well you can't waste a boner
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
