Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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