the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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