I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
