What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
