What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
