I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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