Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I got inside last night via doggy door
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
