Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
