but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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