well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
