pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
