He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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