should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
