Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
