its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
