This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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