To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
