I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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