How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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