I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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