I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
