Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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